“I don’t want my daughter to go to college!”
There, I said it out loud.
Last year she was about to start her senior year of high school. College was on the horizon. This was her last year of high school and then she was onto to bigger and better things. Soon to be embarking on the start of her young adult life.
We went through the financial aid process, ACT testing, applying to colleges, visiting colleges, receiving acceptance letters, deciding which college would be attended and the school loan process.
We managed to do all of that right before she officially graduated high school. I was so proud of us.
Everything was all figured out and now all of that was left was enjoying her last moments of high school, graduating, going dorm room shopping and excitedly awaiting the next chapter in her life to begin.
F*%K all of that now. I AM A TRAIN WRECK!!!
We are now a little over a week before the day we move her into her dorm.
All of the shopping is done. Dorm assigned, roommate chosen, classes chosen.
The excitement I was feeling for her has been replaced with sadness and the realization that life as we both know it is never going to be same.
The school she is attending is not far from our house, her place of employment is also close to our house and she is working while attending classes and living on campus. I know she is able to come home at a moment’s notice.
Yet, none of that is keeping me from screaming NOOOOOOOOO from my roof top and grabbing hold of her leg and not allowing her to leave.
I want her to stay right where she is.
The bottom line is I am not ready to share her with the world.
I still want to be able to have the luxury of her coming home after school or work and telling me how her day was. I want to be able to peak my head into her room and see her asleep in her bed. I want to see her smile, hear her laugh and the funny comments she says that cracks everybody up. I want to be able to hug her and kiss the top of her head when she goes to bed. I want to be able to tell her that I love her and have her sitting next to me when I do.
I want to see and hear her and her sister giggling as they talk about music and social media posts and shows that we watch together. I want to hear her and my husband talking on the weekends before everyone else gets up and see them sitting on the couch together watching MTV videos when I walk into our living room. I want to know that she is safe because I can physically see her on a daily basis. She has always been my daughter and she is now also my friend.
I am going to miss her like crazy.
I know it’s time for her to go. She is ready.
We have all been through a lot together and our household is a bit of an emotional wreck. We are all dealing with it in different ways. We had a family meeting so we could all express our feelings and make sure that we were all getting what we needed for support.
That is how us Hamiltons roll.
We feel, we express and we take action.
We all felt the magic of possibility and allowed ourselves to feel the excitement of what is to come. With that excitement came the realization that all of our identities are going to change in some way. We have to make peace with the situation and love ourselves in each and every moment as we go through it, taking care of the skin that we are in by getting the support we need.
This is all an example of my 5 Key Principles of living a Divine, Inspired, Vibrant, Alive (DIVA) Life.
Everyone goes through this at various times in their lives. Marriage, divorce, new jobs, career changes, promotions, starting new relationships, ending current relationships, becoming a mom, becoming a wife, etc.
It can also be something smaller like you decide you no longer want to handle the bills and your spouse or partner is now going to take that responsibility over or you decide that you want to sign up for a class or work towards a fitness goal.
Every time anything changes means that something ends as something else begins. You can’t have new beginnings without something ending, even if it is simply the way you see yourself.
This is the inspiration for my next Tappy Hour call, Endings Allow for New Beginnings.
If you haven’t signed up for Tappy Hour I encourage you to do so. If you have ever had any change in your life you can benefit and I don’t know anyone who hasn’t gone some type of change in their life.
Also remember that I am still running my 40% off Summer Sale on my 3 session package for a limited time.
The Gold Experience Package
3 Sessions $387.00
(Normally $645)
Please simply respond to this email if you would like to take advantage of this amazing offer.
It is always more effective when you are working with someone and why I work with coaches and mentors myself.
Until the next time….I love you.
Cathy
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