Post holidays can be anticlimactic. We spend so much time preparing for them, psyching ourselves up for the extra stress, the extra fun, eating more, spending more, doing more and spending time with more people. Once they are over we are left with our everyday lives and usually the judgment that comes along with it where we compare where we are to where we thought we would be.
Our focus turns to everything that we still do not have or what we are not doing that we want to be. We begin the month of January by saying that “this year is going to be the year when _______ changes”.
We put a crazy amount of pressure on ourselves by putting finite expectations of what we need to do or what needs to happen in order for this year to be a success.
Whether we mean to or not, we set up ourselves up to fail. We set ourselves up to be overly critical of ourselves and basically be a bully to ourselves to make us accomplish whatever we said we want to accomplish no matter what it is that we have to do to make it happen.
We have to get out of our comfort zone and just do it!
Why do we do this to ourselves? Every year it yields the same results. Anger, frustration, sadness, grief and despite all of that, we continue.
So, what if we choose that this is the year that we do not do this to ourselves. This can be the year that we gently, compassionately and lovingly change what we focus on and what we decide we want for this year.
As I look back to 2016 it seemed it was one big long introspective moment. What seemed to continuously creep into my consciousness is how temporary my life is.
It would seem to happen more at the end of the evening after everyone would go to bed. As I was spending some quiet time watching TV or drinking a cup of tea I would think to myself there is never going to be another day like today.
My oldest daughter is going to be in college next year, my younger daughter will be entering high school and the times when the three of us sitting around the kitchen with our computers listening to music and talking about our days would be changing. Watching my husband joke around with them and experiencing the laughter would be changing.
The realization that there is going to be a time when other people will be living in the house that we have lovingly made into our home would make its way into my awareness. Our life will never be exactly as it is right now again.
There were times that I would have rather just zoned out and lose myself in whatever happened to be on TV instead of thinking about all of this. Yet, every night I found myself appreciating the moment and being in a natural state of gratitude because of it.
This has become the mantra of my life.
Of course I have goals and dreams and desires that I want to become a reality. At the same time I no longer am marking my success based on “changes” that I have made or not made throughout the year. I am no longer playing the game of self- judgment that I am not measuring up somehow.
My wish for you in 2017 is that you have newfound appreciation for the moment. Appreciate you, however you are showing up.
Will you compare, will you judge, will you criticize yourself at times? Yes. Will you have goals and dreams, wants and desires? Yes. You are human and that is what we do as humans.
At the end of the day, in the quiet you have before you fall asleep you will also remember that there will never be another moment like the one you are experiencing right now.
Enjoy it!
Love,
Cathy
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