Hello Lovable and Powerful DIVA,
I want to share a story with you.
I know a man who met a woman at work. He was living a fun, carefree life and she was living a traditional family life. They were complete opposites yet became close friends.
The woman, as it turned out, was in an abusive marriage. It was not the physical kind of abuse. It was the emotional, manipulative insidious kind. Taking pieces of her away as both a woman and a mother. She felt broken. If you have experienced it, you know what I mean. The man could quickly see what was happening. He carefully and patiently helped her “wake” up. It wasn’t always gentle as sometimes she needed moments of tough love, owning her life was never going to be the way she was pretending it was and feeling embarrassed to inspire her to want a change.
The man, as it turned out, was not feeling as fun and carefree as the life he was living. There were experiences from his past that he carried into his adult life. She could easily recognize that many times this man was misunderstood and underappreciated. She carefully and patiently helped him to see his value, recognize what was missing in his life and inspired him to own that he deserved better.
With the support of their friendship they were both able to make changes in their lives. They were able to finally stop living a lie. It was no surprise when they began a romantic relationship. They both seemed to be able to see into each other’s soul and had a love and respect for each other that formed an unshakable bond. They got married, 11 years ago today………….
And they lived happily ever after………..
Together they have endured the woman completing an ugly divorce, the man’s mother receiving an incurable cancer diagnosis, helping the woman’s daughters adjust to being a blended family while dealing with an emotionally abusive father. They have dealt with their jobs being in jeopardy due to economic issues. The man’s mother lost her life and a few months later the woman got diagnosed with breast cancer. She underwent chemo and a mastectomy. Every day presents itself with new challenges. They fight hard, love hard and keep growing individually, as a couple and as a family. They have beautifully powerful times mixed in with dark desperate moments.
Some would think that their happily ever after should be all sunshine and flowers. We are taught that’s what happy endings look like right? Yet life always likes to add twists and turns.
That is the true reality of happily ever after. I am sure you have similar stories of hardship, struggle and pain. They plot might be different and the characters might not be the same but I am sure you can still relate.
There is an expectation that if we live life a certain way we are guaranteed an easy path. That if there is a huge struggle there will be the reward of a silver lining. If there isn’t there is something wrong and you aren’t doing something right.
I am here to tell you that there is no easy path and to all of my Panic! At the Disco fans – (F@ck A) Silver Lining. I don’t say this to cause despair. I say this because there is nothing wrong, especially with you. I say this to encourage you to recognize that you are experiencing your happily ever after even when it looks and feels like your life is falling apart.
You have strength and courage that you utilize on a daily basis. You are powerful. You are lovable. Nothing you experience ever changes that. Don’t waste your energy trying to be perfect and having the perfect life. Beating yourself up over mistakes and disappointment.
Perfection doesn’t exist.
Feel what you feel, be honest with yourself about where you are in your life, allow yourself to dream of where you would like to be, enjoy the joyful moments, cry during the hard moments and experience life as it’s happening. Your happily ever after is what you make out of what life throws at you. The good times and the messy ones.
In case you didn’t figure it out, this is my personal happily ever after story.
What’s yours?
We love, our hearts gets broken, we heal and we do that over and over again while we live happily ever after….
A special shout out to my husband, Happy Anniversary!!!
Love,
Cathy
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